tales of circus and sciatica

so.... i went and took Stevo to the circus last thursday night... it was AWESOME.. (as expected)..
people flying about in the air.. human springboards... little asian boys with flying bowls... what more could i ask for??
wellll.. it was all good except for the crazy lud mofos sitting next to me. I swear i was on the verge of gafa taping the moles mouth shut. She could not stop herself from carrying on.. laughing and carrying on EVERY. SINGLE. MINUTE. her claps wernt normal.. they sounded like thunder claps echoing in my ear drum.. her partner was just as bad.. stamping his feet instead of clapping..

saturday morning... i woke up with shooting pain running down my lower back.. and continuing down my leg.. bringing me to tears... i was in a state of absolute distress.. crying out for my mum.. and leaning on macho stevo to carry me about...

so... as my regular gp was fully booked... i had to go to some random one in rosstrata... OMFG..
i walked into the clinic and it was a sesspool of miserable sick ppl.. there was some dude that looked like he just had his face punched in .. blood was still dripping from a cut eye... there was some girl in pyjamas hacking her lungs out... a grumpy old man and a quiet looking girl (i suspected she had woman problems)... and of course me... the limping whimpering foool. =(
This was the weirdest surgery i had ever been to.. i had to avoid having eye contact with that bloodied mess...whilst listening to the opera music in the background.. and trying to not eavesdrop on the conversation of the old gossipy secretary... WHILST trying to hold myself together....

welll... finally.. it was my time to see the doc... and what does he do.. tells me to bend and stretch.. bends and stretches me more... to the point where im brought to tears.. he asks a few questions and then hurriedly hands me a prescription and tries to rush me out the door... i was like... EXCUUUUUSE me doc.. do u mind EXPLAINING wtf is wrong with me before u try drugging me up?? sheeet,.. lucky my mum came with me.. prodding the doctor with questions... it was almost like begging the dude to try explain what was going on....

blehh.. he gave me some medication which didnt do crappy all.. so by night time i decided that a trip to the hopsital was necessary...

all i can say... no wonder theres a shortage of hospital beds... theres so many fkt up ppl in perth. Half of the people that were at the hospital at the time were either there because they were crack or drunk. Its such a shame that staff and resources are stretched for people like this..

Well... all i can say... after spending two hrs in the hospital... it proved fruitless.. yet informative.. the dr told me that i was experiencing symptoms of sciatica... my lower back was shooting up in pain.. and in turn.. this pain ran down the back of my right leg.. most likely due to a protusion/some kind of inflammation of the vertebral disc.. which is putting pressure on my sciatic nerve... i was send home to rest.. all i wanted was norphine to take the pain away... was that too much to ask...

DAmn... its now tuesday.. and the pain doesnt seem to get any better.. Im lying down every 5 minutes whilst typing this blog.. i cant even sit for prolonged periods without feeling shooting pain.. but ive managed to drive around to get my CT scan.. ive managed to walk around the shops to get snacks.. IM A FIGHTER.. aint no sciatica gonna get the better of me..
now pass me em pain killers.... =S

facebook

Just when i thought those old high school mates could be lost from memory and forgotten... coz lets face it... i just don't give a toss about some of them.. THEY EMERGE FROM WITHIN THE CYBER REALM...

first it was friendster... now.. its the new generation.. FACEBOOK.. what with its blood sucking goodness... little aquariums of virtual aquatic wildlife and other such gadgets....

Its so damn time consuming... ...

thats all i have to say for now... i got more facebook to conquer

on the track to becoming a ninja...

i went out last night to dinner with kilson, kwun, yola and olly...

To the point.... olly told us stories of how he trained to be a ninja..
I sat in awe..

I too want to become a ninja..
Then he told us that he could run 1.2k in 4 minutes...

Kimmye saw the gleam in my eye when he said this... actually.. she saw the gleam and the determination...

My new goal... to beat this wannabe ninja freak..

I timed myself tonight.... 6minutes 30....

so friggin far.....

so abc..

i went to my second madarin class over at tafe today... moving from a sat morning (which i found impossible to wake up up in time to).. to wed night.

The white dude infront of me absolutely pissed all over me.
He can read.. memorise.. and understand the shit he's saying..
Deserves a bloody round of applause...

Definately put me to shame...

...

I saw him from across the room watching me. There seemed to be aura eminating from him, attracting me towards him.
I confidantly edged towards him, with friend on cue, latched to arm, for moral support...

It was within the first week of getting to know each other that i realised that this was the beginning of something beautiful.

A year passes, allowing the bond to grow, the comfort levels to rise, the trust to mould, the love to flourish and the interest to never feign..

One night, in the span of an hour, our world comes to a standstill. His actions, thoughtless and inconsiderate, bring him down to his knees. It had not sunken in, that like everyone else, he was not invincible.

I cried most of yesterday, not out of sadness, but out of fear. Fear of losing the one that means the world to me. My best friend and soul mate. The fear of not knowing, but being told of the worst. The events of the weekend moved from bad to worse.. It made me realise how much he had take things for granted. It is not merely enough to be punished, but to learn from the punishments. Should the learning not take effect, the dire result is inevitable. Seems simple enough, right?

We wait in anticipation. Praying for the best, not thinking about the worst. I know that eveything will pan out alright...

hrm... days of old

its funny...
I think i've run out of ammo... or at least... conviction.. to party..
Once upon a time.. i would go out... at the drop of a hat... even after finishing work at 1-2am.. (hehe crazy burswood homies)

Nowadays... getting me out of the house and into a club.. is almost a rare occurence and quite an effort..
I miss going out.. but i don't.. it's like. i've been there.. done that..
So then what???

I spent the weekend before last, on a saturday night.. playing cs for 3 or 4 hours..
I can't remember the last time i spent so long on a game.. without me realising..
I coud've made it to metros... but then... i didn't go...
And i don't quite know if its becoz if i go... the bf will want to go too.. and usually... when he goes..
some sort of crazy trouble brews.. not really of his own accord either..

I ended up having a cs nightmare that night... there was some jap chick in a balaclava that wanted to knife me and my family. I ended up shooting her point blank with my rifle. Saved my family and the house. Only to see a whole shiet load of terrorists inching towards the house. I then decided to go to the toilet. Coz i thought that it would take a long time to kill the lot of them, and i was busting. I then woke up.... touched my self.. just to check that i hadnt accidently pissed my self... (and no i didnt)

hrm..

the weekend just passed... i cbf going to val's bday (which sounded.. well.. trashy - been there done that)... so i didn't..
And on the sat night... i went out to the movies on a double date with a mate to watch harry potter.
I felt kinda pathetic after (coz i didnt really love the movie)... so convinced the gang to drink my sorrows over at the flying scotsman..

was it becoz i over did it in melb/syd... that i just dont feel the itch to club and party hard like i used to?? or maybe over did it by the time i'd reached 21... And although i can say.. u know.. i've been there... blind drunk... to the point where i cant recall a single thing past a particular point... and done that.. drunk a half bottle of vodka straight within the space of getting picked up to getting dropped off at the club... it is the not point. Its not about doing the same old thing week in week out. It about having fun. Is it possible that drinking is no longer high on my agenda?? Is it possible that i've found ways to have fun without getting drunk??? I think no.. getting drunk is always, and always be a blast.. (i think so.. ) but then again, yes, maybe i have found other ways to entertain myself.. or has settling in with stevo tamed me down??

Just to be sure.. i think i need a good night out.
Starts this fri night. After work drinks at rosie's...
pity about the weather tho

u wanna know what really grinds my gears????

heres to me as i rant over the ways of my world...

What really grinds my gears..

Ppl who chose to continually pump the cross walk button whilst impatiently waiting for the pedstrian man to turn green.
ONCE is suffice nig. Its not gonna change any faster. If i was that button. I would just let u wait another 2 mins. Just for GRINDING my gears.

them young ones that think they look so COOL chuffing their fags and riding their bmx bikes. Pull up ur emo jeans and get some clean underwear on moite..

ridiculously stubborn ppl that cant get their mind around the fact that... the truth STINKS. I'd like to dedicate this to a colleague of mine. Shes preggers, with what the dr has told her is a girl. Her and her partner want a boy. She wants a girl merely for the fact "that she can have the first kid to carry on the family name". Apparently in her family, the first born male is the most important. After the news of the childs gender, she went on to another gp, only to b told the same news. She still doesnt believe them. Cheers to her if she prove em wrong. One more thing to add. In this family, when one of the couples found out that they were with child, the other couples followed suit. Its all abt having what the other has in this family. Thats what grinds my gears. Family competition. Even over having a child. Pathetic.
Also.. back to the unborn child. Its ur flesh and blood. Dont hate it just coz it wasnt born the right gender... this truth should never stink. Smile n b happy. And stop grinding these gears of mine.

pay-per-view WWE/ECW/RAW matches. Stevo pays bloody enough for foxtel, without having to pay to watch special telecast wrestling matches.

really impatient ppl. Example. I was waiting in line to ask a few questions regardingmy hbf membership. (as i find i cant seem to articuate myself very well over the phone - i like to go in in-person).. theres this biatch in the line that couldnt stop tsk-ings and tapping her feet and fidgetting. JUST GET OUT OF THE FRIGGIN LINE IF U CANT HACK THE WAIT. Before i kick yo booty out the door with my wound up gears...

telemarketers. Well.. who doesn't. But these days, when i pick up the fone... i don't get the sound of freshly made curry on the other line... lately ive gotten an american sounding machine recording that says.. "please hold onto the line. There is someone that wishes to speak to you regarding an important matter" .... F U you yank machine. How dare you waste my time, making ME wait while i get transfered to the curry vendor...

(sorry if i've offended any indians out there. Its just that 99% of the time, the telemarketers i've had are indian. I call indians curries.. curry munchers even... Crunchers for short.)

Disorganised ppl. Nothing peeves me more than ppl that don't have a clue of the important things that they involve themselves in/others in. If you organise a get together/trip... and then CANCEL... please inform all the ppl you;ve invited. We cant read ur mind.

Anonymous random msgs that ask me how i am, tell me of how long i havent seen anon, and if im free to catch up with them, Who is this? And y are u too chicken shit to CALL? and why after so long do you chose to msg me? What do u want from me... ? Sometimes... these msgs are seriously purely random. From persons i dont know. I think. Im never too sure as i've never replied. Dont grind my gears even more by making me lose credit just msging back dear random.

The fat kid that decided to jump in the elevator. I thought it was gona break. Then i thought i was gonna break him.
Lucky for him it was my stop.

Ppl that do up excels. This doesnt reallygrind my gears exactly. I think its funny.... now that i think abt it.. Ha! tossers...

Ppl that chose to type like this. I think kimmye knows what i mean. It Is ThE AzN kEwT thiNg to Do lahh.
i waNa eAt αρρℓє.. вαиg вαиg вαиg... 4nd hav3 a n1c3 n4p. There is no friggin NEED to decorate ur bloody sentences fools. English is a complicated enough language without you fucking about with fancy charcters and substituting numbers for letters.

i think thats enough for now. I gotta calm myself down now after unleashing some of my pet peeves.

p.s. Thank you peter griffin, for starting me off on my 'grind my gears" crusade

Toit like a toiger

i am friggin exhausted... but in a good way...
Been to the gym everyday since sat, and thanks to K, i've FINALLY gone to a class at FF...

Let me recap my second class, which was body combat...
Not only did i learn how slow and unco i really was... but it also made me realise that should the old granny in front of me (who was belting out "hoo" "haa" "haiya" every few seconds) feel even slightly treatened....she had enough goolies to smack me the fuck out..

Once i had mastered punching and hooking.. the bloody instructor decides to move on with another set of moves... How the hell was i supposed to understand when everythings going on at lightning pace??? Not happy jan.. not happy.

I did note though, that the instructor dude was wearing white pants... and i could see sweat marks... well.. Lets just say... his sack was wet.

Note to self. Dont wear white pants when at gym. Even if i suddenly worked up an utterly toned butt.
Another note to self. When i get old and senile, and have bad bladder control and cant afford tena pads, wear white pants.. and if anyone asks.. tell them i've just had an extreme work out at the "gym"..

Awesum. All i have to add is.. i managed to run 3k in just under 20...

Now im off to finish my twisties. $1.79 for a 190g pack at coles ppls!!

yummy half born duck...

i was once told by a friend of this asian delicacy where half born duck eggs are eaten, much like boiled eggs.
Not to mention being fkn distusting, I told proceeded to tell the friend how it was acts like this that groups like RSPCA are for..

A FRIGGIN STILL BORN DUCK!!!!


A SEMI MATURED DUCKLING OF ALL THINGS!!!! have we already run out of things ot eat..??????

Anyway... last night, i went out to one of stevo's friends houses... Whereby they decided to offer us these said "duck" eggs. I was in shock. These fabled eggs... we served infront of me. I eyed the table. More for the JW that was sitting to the corner... then i looked at the eggs. Much like any duck egg really. Large looking, Boiled. White.. But it was whaat was within that was the big surprise...

I see stevos eyes shine with glee.. and this other dude light up as well.. I was about to be sick...

i watch them crack the shell, delicately,... and then slowly slurp out the juices out of the egg... "mmmm mmmm slurp"
then gently breaking more of the shell i see the yolk. But unlike anormal hard boiled egg yolk.. it is off yellow, like a brownish yellow.. with veins.. yes veins. Apparently the white albumin bit is hard and chewy.. plastic like.. so that's discarded. But it all about the yolk... aprarently.... I watch intently.. and i see this guy fool around with the bloody egg. He pulls the yolk this way and that and eventually he proudly shows off a friggin DUCK EMBRYO. This one had developed more than they are apparently "supposed to", revealing beak, a few feathers and a pronounced head.

....
grouse lil shits.. i think..
But then i get dared to eat the lil fkker. Not the embryo, but a fresh one.

I follow the drill. Suck the juices n all.. That bit is good. Tastes like marrow bone.
I try the white bit. Really bloody hard.. Prolly coz it neccesary to protect the embryo or something...
Ditch that bit. Then head for the yolk..
I dont dare to mess with the bitch. Stuff the whole thing in my mouth. Veins, bird remnants and all. Chew chew swallow.

Not bad.

Ive never heard of a more inhumane delicacy.. but then.. i guess its just like.. having an egg.. and a duck.. and having the best of both worlds.

If anyone knows of something more repulsive. Fill me in.

thanks for stating the obvious biatch.

Me taking a dump is about as normal as me eating. The two go hand in hand... though dont take it too literally..

Last week i had to let Mr Brown out in unfamiliar territory.. (as i am usually exclusive.. and prefer sticking to the throne in my own home/stevos home). So... i go about my own business. Purely natural.

Upon completion.. i am greeted by some NOBODY who decides to let me know.. "F*&%$! ur shit stinks!....sdfjkfnjnej"

Thank you Einstein. Thats probably thanks to a diet consisting of johnny walker, kitkat, durian and salad.

How abts you use YOURS as a fragrant oil and use it as potpourri since u think that your shit dont smell, biattch??

hrm. biatch u caught me on a bad day. Under normal circumstances i would have proudly grinned and given u a hi 5.

ebay!

i've finally caught on to the phenomenon that is.. Ebay.
After months and even years of procrastinating and riduculing and hearing stories of ppl buying and even bidding on things as ridiculous as eaten toast.... i've decided to start up my very own personal ebay account..

And in the space of a day i managed to get myself a new pair of work pants for 99c (and $7 postage), a clear skin mobile cover for $1.99 and a teeth whitening system.... =)

I've spent waaay too many hours on the net looking up intersting, useful things to purchase.. neglecting my strict gym schedule, and instead turning to the kitkats (which i bought a plenty in woolies - 1.99 for a whole BLOCK) and milkt bar (also 1.99).
I'm feeling bloody lethargic and haven't even managed to take the dog for her walk.... conclusion... ebay = too time consuming.
On the other hand.. there is some pretty good shit out there...

On another note.. we've got new pathwest cadets in my work for a month. Basically, theyre students still in their medical science degree, but theyve been selected out of the group to have paid work exp for a month....
So anihoo.. theres we got a dude in the department... and who do you tink is the lucky one they dumped him on..
I'm really not in the mood 70% of the time im at work. I live for lunchtimes, morning teas, afternoon teas, and for antibiotic picking - where i dont have to listen to my colleagues pathetic conversations on the state of their laundry or the price of their new mattress protector, and basically work iin sollitude, piping up now and again to discuss with a more vibrant colleague my recent states of gas release. Yes it is a bit depressing and mundane.. but hey.. i dont do much, its easy work, i get a good pay and dont take my shit home.

Back to the fresh meat. Theyve basically dropped him at my feet. Frankly, he talks too much, and may even be batting for the other team (not that i have a problem with that). All in all, hes cramping my style. Why leave me with the new trainee... its coz im the noob isnt it...??? And just for laughs, theyre leaving me with him again 2mrw, on my picking day. (i.e. the day i pick any bacterial pathogens cultured from the specimens of the previous day, and test out theyre antibiotic sensitivities ).. argh.. hindrance.. guess the poor guy is preety much fed up with looking at urines... but thats not the point.. not the point....

deep breath

i think i need to go back to body balance and to the gym. my way of destressing. might be better on the work exp dude. feeling sorry for him now, him being stuck with me and all.

Beer = good stuff!!!!!

Not only coz it quenches a hard earned thirst!!!

Certain antioxidants found in beer may help protect certain body tissue from cancer-causing chemicals. One type called Xanthohumol — has been shown to retard the growth and development of breast cancer cells. This discovery was made by Jap scientists... so... i dont know if they only tested for such substances on jap brewed stuff only.. or if it doesnt matter... coz beer is beer.. right?

Othre research showed that there was a connection between beer consumption and reduced risk of developing osteoporosis, due to the presence of silicate (stuff that helps give our bone structure), which supports the uptake of calcium into bones...

Just think about it.

i want a potato family for christmas/bday please

"There's a war going on, people, right under our noses. Highly advanced robotic life forms are battling each other, all the while hiding from human sight. But no more; it's time for us to spill the beans, so to speak. At first we thought these robots were only turning into cars and planes and 80's boomboxes, but now they have devised a new tactic. They are transforming (if you'll pardon the term) into vegetables. How a giant robot can turn into a semi truck and a potato, we'll never know. But it's a truth we must accept..."

Flicking thru my latest target shopping mag... i go thru two full pages of transformer toys... But it ain't the robots that transform into trucks that catch my eye... its the potato that transforms into a robot and into a truck...kinda..
MR POTATO OPTIMUS MASH.. OPTIMUS MASH!!! Nigs, the potato crew are hot to trot. U can stick his eyes where his arms belong!! Thers even a corny story line for it.. (refer above paragraph)
Optimash Prime - leader of the Autobots - sworn to protect Earth from the evil Decepticons. He leads a squad of highly lethal team of robots searching for the AllSpice - the source of the Transformers' power. Will M-egg-atron and the Decepticons prevail? Will you help Optimash protect the universe from evil? Or will you just bring Optimash into your home because he's cute? Only time will tell....

I needs it. He can go together with his star wars cousins, Princess tater and Artoo-Potatoo.. AND darth tater...


Is it R2D2... is it Mr Potato... NO guys.. ITS BOTH... the best of two sweet worlds..



"When a radioactive spider bit Peter Parker Potato, he became SPIDER SPUD! With eyes for trouble, this web slinger uses his starch-strength to mash out evil and save the day!"

They're more than meets the eye. More reason for kids to love their vegies.

stocktake sale

So.. its that time of the year again... stocktake sales...

I told myself i didnt want to buy anything.. but chose to have a 'walk' in the city, just to look around....

Walked into DJ... and eyed a fancy pair of black leather boots... Looked at the price... sighed... looked at the boots... looked at stevo.. looked at the boots... then tried it on... I dont NEED a new pair of boots... but lets just see how they feel..

They fit like a glove.. ooo.. and so comfy... But no... $130 bucks??? im supposed to be saving for another holiday... no...no boots.. i got bills up to my armpits to pay.... so i take the boots off.... another sigh.. **strokes boot**...

Then the sales assistant asks me what size i was wearing... i say 6 and a half...
Sales assistant then proceeds to tell another shopper that i have the last pair of boots in her size...

I don't let go of the boots i've just taken off, and proceed to purchase them at the cash register...

Ahh... bloody deviant child.. i guess knowing that someone wanted those boots as bad as i did gave me the extra boost i needed... ha! Dear random shopper, thank you for my new boots.

Somniloquy anyone????

Stevo has decided that it is time to add another level to the relationship. Sharing bodily gases could just not top the list.. no... he has added an extra thing... somniloquy... Somniloquy i hear u say?? Yes.. also known as sleep talking, this is a conditon experienced by approx. 5% of the adult population whereby partners, siblings, or whomever they share their room with has their sleep disrupted by an explosion of speech and at times, unrecognizable sounds.

The first time.. i thought was pretty amusing, tho mildly disturbing. Imagine being in deep sleep. Then having this disrupted by a sound. If i knew how to add audio to this blog, i would, but i don't, so use ur imagination. Imagine a noise sounding much like that made by ryu from streetfighter when he does a fireball (minus the words) eminating from stevo..

Stevo - arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(ryu styles)

Me - wakes up
thinking that hes had a nightmare.. i wake him up

hey. are u ok??
stevo - (groggily) huhh???
(after realising he was dreaming he proceeds to tell me off)

Aww.. why did u wake me up?? i was winning the fight...
Me - (shrugs... it could be worse..)

Recently it seems that he has a 'thing' for communicating with me whilst flaked out.

Episode #2

St - Puuuuuuuuuuut!!!!! (ya'll know what this is by now...
one of them real sqeaky ones)
Me - (stiffled laughter)
St - U heard that?
Me - mmm hmm
St- Geez.. it woke me up.. i didn't think it woke u up too


EPISODE #3

St - How are we gonna get home?
Me- ??@*&%??
St - From sydney/melbourne. How are we gonna get hone?
Me- whatttttt??
St- How are we gonna get home
Me- We are home..

(pause)
i open my eyes to check my surroundings.. ensuring that it isnt ME that's lost the plot.. Yes.. yes.. we were back in
perth.. its been more than a week since..
St - oh..
Me - bloody sleep talking again
(rolls over)


Hrm. So thats a few of the situations i remember.. Does anyone suffer from this same.... situation?? or know of some who does?
I've tried talking to the dude more during the day.. just so that he has plenty of time to get what he wants to say out. So far.. it seems to be doing the trick, not that sleep talking once in a while is a bad thing... nothing like switching things up once in a while...

Home schweeeet home

Ive recently come home from our trip (with kimmi, stevo, and nels) from melbourne/sydney... and whats one of the first things i feel obliged to do??? Post a blog. God i am dedicated... So... how has visiting the other side of my fair country contributed to my overall wellbeing?? ....

Umm.. well... three bottles of worm tequila (YES I'D LIKE A WORM IN MINE THANX), one scorpion tequila (was it even tequila..?), three vodka, one jagameister, three cartons, a few cocktails and trillions more club shots later.... later umm... i cant relly recall... ha! hrm.. im nearly $2g lighter.. 3 kilos heavier.. and oh so relatively content.


It's been all good.. a noice break from reality really... but overall... i think i found melb more to my liking.. all nice and organised.. we had our own apartment there so we could cook our own meals... and it also turned out all the clubs we headed out to were walking distance.... (when im drunk... i can walk ANYWHERE and feel no pain in heels)

so.. anyways.. heres the run down...

MELBOURNE
We stayed in some apartment place, the unilodge. Okok.. so i didnt realise that when they said bed.. they meant sofa bed.. and wen they said sofa bed... they meant some fkn small as sofa bed... too small for even me to stretch out in... which meant that we had to rotate sleeping on our own makeshift bed on the floor, as there was only one other double bed.... = my bad....
i cooked a bloody good veg soup to make up... kinda

shopping is the shiznit... the dezzzman and his friend eugene took us out to this mofo of a sale in chadwick.. where pretty much every shop (over 200 shops ppl... TWO HUNDRED)... had some crazy ass sale percentage off do happening.. eg 50% off everything in the guess shop... 20% off everything bardot... awww.. i ended up buying shit from priceline.. ha! what a tool aye..

The first four nights in melb ended up in a drunken mess... i dont think that i could sit thru that many rounds of big two if it wasnt for the booze... which tasted foul... aww... no mo worm in mine thanks.. i have never in my life seen kimmye RED... but who wud've guessed.. she IS a TRUE ASIAN! Lobster i tells u... got cooked with the 'tequila'. I would post a foto up.. but i thinks she would seek revenge.....

went to our first melb club on fri night courtesy of dez. He tells me the place is called "platform one".... and he continues to say.. its just opposite where we live... So we live on flinders st, opposite the train staion.. so i put two and two together... we're clubbing at the train station, the first platform to be precise.

This all seemed so legit to me at the time in a kinda tipsy way... So... waiting.. waiting... Im walking around going.. so this is platform one....and if i keep walking.. it becomes platform two.. so between platform one and two.. did anyone see SOMETHING that resembled a club..??? Both stevo and kimmye shake their heads.... dammit.. so i mustve been hearing things... i calls dez. and he tells me... "ITS AT PLATFORM ONE" goddammit.. stop screwing with my head mister.. i AM at platform one.. with random friggin commuters... wth are YOUU??

Turns out... we had to keep walking... PAST platform one and two... past the train station.. to a nearby club... called platform one.... sigh...


we walked in and in tru dezman style.. he had VIP to the club. his own private table, with his name on it. And in true dez style, we order our drinks.. by the bottle.. chivas and a jd.. fullly shiick moite... =)

But alas.. the club was dead.. ppl 'studying' or something.. pffft exams..
Gotta say tho.. kimz and i were expecting a metros kinda drill... where were the skankily dressed femmes??? wheree??? shit.. we were overdressed.. had to keep our jackets on... til we felt.... more drunkenly appropriate..
By the end of the night.. everything was good.. music was pumping.. bodies were moving.. yes.. as a club should be..
i would tho.. like to get my hands on the person that took our other bottle tho.. karma'll git u...

The rest of our days were spent shopping at the usual outlets.. dfo, chapel st, bridge rd... drinking hot choc @ Max brenner... mmmmm good shit.. loaded with BUTTER.. but mmmm ... the creamy goodness...

sat night.. another nite of drunken bliss... we tried looking for a club we were told was asian.. and rnb.. we were told to hit the bouldevard... ha! took us friggin FOREVER to find it.. hitched a ride with some random egyptians... ended up in the casino.. then on the street... asking the bouncers to guide us to this so called boulevard....
Finally.. like a lock to its key.. we found the place.. and we found.. we fit... ohhh ... so at home again.. like a metroz.. but the only ppl we knew were each other... hrm.. was a good nite =)

SYDNEY

BAhh.. raining all friggin week. Nels joined us in this leg of the trip. I was sick with a cold the first day, (maybe coz dez tok us to the BEACH the night before...=)) Which meant i was holed up in my hotel room watching cheaters, wwe, jerry and other such shows for the whole day. Turned out to be a good thing. i was nice n rested the next day.. no cold! record time recovery. Just in time to hit some random club we heard about on the radio.... the sapphire suite.
We taxied it there with jackie chan.. (thats what i like to remember) he told us good stories about his daughter doing her hsc.. and how hard life is in australia.. then he told us he didnt know where he was going... grrrr... so we hopped out.. only to find that we were a street off... woot..

As we were on a tight budget... i thought i'd play the tightwad.. so i asked the barbitch for her "cheapest shots" Boy did she deliver... $3 shots anyone??

Again... we were disappointed..or at least i was... where was the hotties???? if kimz n i were the only booties shaking on the dance floor... we got a problem there... but... after more shots... and a jagabomb chaser.. all was hot.

We spent the next night at the Armin White party... So.. we reach the venue... but as soon as we we turn the corner to the entrance... we feel the presence.. of a pack of sniffer dogs and the po po.

shit dog.. dont go sniffing me aye.. i aint got no drugs.. why dont u go over to that guy with the frgn GAS MASK on.. or the guy dressed as a cruncher (curry muncher).. or the marilyn wannabe?? those gotts 2 b on drugs to be dressing all messed up like that.... =S

after a 45 min wait for the cloak room.... and another wait for the toilet... we was ready to rock n roll...
well.. overall.. it was okkk... i think i would have rathered a metros shindig.. where theres muliple levels opened up.. so then i can at least sit down for a bit and actually SEE the guy.. the seats in the dome were fkn AGES away.. had to wade thru a sea of pill poppers just to grab a seat.. annoying... and it was just.. well.. a concrete room.. bahhh... take me home.. its 6.30am.. and wayyyy past my bed time.


A couple of days later we headed off to fish markets... ha! funny shit... if anyone has met my stevo.. u wud know.. that he thinks he is the man.. but we found his weakness in the fishmarkets... OYSTERS. all i got to say. if u want 2 c the footage of him trying to swallow the bitch raw.. and then nearly yack it out.. let me know =)

Sheeesh.. this is turning out to be a mmother of a blog. Im calling it quits. i got a room to clean.. and tv to watch.
Basically.. my bro took us out everywhere.. which was cool. he pumped the tunes good and solid in his ride.. our last night was spent at lowenbrau.. mmm... german bier.... 1L steins all round... and yummo sausages

THINGS I HAVE REALISED

Stevo abuses room service. I have never seen anyone use the phone for room service as much as he does.. more blankets, more piilows, more tissues, more hot chocolate, more soap, more shampoo, wake up calls, more food - raw steak to be exact.

Kimmye and nels make a fkn hilarious couple. One week of them was simply not enough

If broke. Ask barbitch/bastard for cheapest shots. works a treat, and u end up blind drunk at the same time

if broke.. and in need of adult entertainment.. u can get free porn by previewing the hotels adult movie section. Just keep changing the channels.. allows u to cop an eyeful

playing big 2 using karma sutra cards is funny

Signing up to be a reward cub member at star city entitles you to $10 free use at the tables or slot machines

beer gives me smelly farts.. =S

HA! ciao amigos


"im sick... but i aint got the flu... ooOO melbourne i is missing u ;D"

BAT??? i'll show u how to bat

Bat bat bat... this is what i do .. now that i am the proud owner of ARTIFICIAL EYELASHES!! Yea thats right.. i spend hard earned moolah on something i've always regarded as very superficial. HOw touche. i heart em. Pain in the arse when it comes to washing my face... but it does save me time... no eyeliner.. no mascara... =)

One more thing i have to show...

The front of my anniversary gift.. took me friggin hours... hand sewn beads, everyone of 'em. It is bloody creative, is it not

The Radio Nazi

Today was day one of the radio ban. Radio ban, u say?? Yea, thats right.. RADIO BAN.

Imagine opening up the lab... to eerie silence. Get about doing my work. Still, silence. No one's at work yet.. not for another half an hour anyway. Cool.. this means i have the whole lab to myself.... Are u thinking what I'm thinking?? Yes... yes.. Now is the time to practise my happening dance moves ready to kick it in Sydney and Melbourne.... yep.. Saturday Night Fever to the maxx.. aWWWesomeee moiiite..

....

Wait... is that foot steps i hear... Shit i better turn the moosic off.. Act natural.. BREaTHE...........

ppfffffffffffft..

What kind of thoughtless bitchface decides on a bloody "radio ban". The vote was unanimously FOR some sort of sound to eminate throughout the lab, besides elevator music... but the airheads or should i say.. air HEAD.. that didn't want it on, wanted a two week trial. Jeezz.. is it THAT hard for you to think with a little background music? Everyone knows you have a bloody big butt missy, no need to get a big head too ok??? Is it ok if we just ban triple J with its shitty rage rock abomination crap.. I'll settle for 94.5.... Sunshine fm???..... Coastal fm?? yeeeaaa.. Meeeeeendurah radio..... i digs.

Now i was left with typical Shirley thoughts running thru little head... ALL DAY LONG.
" oooo... this guys got gono... the dirty doggggg.. only 17"
"a round of claps anyone??...."
"hrm.. lunch time"
"i wonder whats for dinner tonight.... i feel like chicken tonite.. chicken tonite! chicken tonite!!!
Then the spanish flee tune somehow made its rounds.
And then images of Homer, and what he would be thinking if he were in my shoes..
and then Homer humming the spanish flee...
and then Peter (Griffin) doing a rendition......
somebody. shoot me. Now please.
hrm.. maybe i can go buy me a frozen coke.. which i'll skull down.. thus giving me brain freeze.... that'll cause premature thought retardation....
ahh, no. Just shoot me. Haha... just shoot me.. elliott... the lil blonde twit... .... ...

------

So as u can see... my mind. It OOooooozes intelligence. Too much inteligence, is a badd thing.

The day dragged on way too long. I'd eavesdropped more pathetic conversations than on a bustrip to the city and back. I had to hold myself back from downing the 70% ethanol we use to sterilse the benches...

That's it. I've squandered too long over this little predicament. Time for me to get on with things..
I've figured out what I'm do with no music to relax my mind. I'm just gonna have to karaoke it at work. And if they don't like it? Well, they can go stick it. No one has voted for a singing ban. Yet.

cheeseburger, anyone??

i've been with Mr Man (code for bf) for a year now, and its come to that stage in the relationhip where pretty much.. theres not much left to hide... until recently. No one, not ANYONE out of my family has been let onto my biggest secret.......

i erm.. develop flatulence.. big time (at times).. and... i find it FKN funny, not just mine.. but in general. The more i do, the more shits n giggles i get. How i've managed to keep this habit away from him... is bloody unbelievable. Until recently.

Heres the story..
i wake up one morning to Mr Man. A morning kiss and hug later her says.. "Baby farted in her sleep last night" ...
Thanks for just shattering a good start to the morning..
Me: Haha... (snickers to myself)
(silence)
Me: So... did it smell??
Him: umm.. i didnt lift up the quilt
Me: oh
(silence)
Me: Was it loud?? (snickers once more)
Him: the first one wasnt
Me: FIRST ONE??
Him: yea.. then the one after kinda went... BARRP.. and vibrated in the mattress
Me: (rolls around the bed in a fit of giggles)

i continue to find out all the specific details. And for the following nights, continue to pester him as to whether flatulence has erupted from my backdoor whilst comatose.

I think this obsession of mine developed as a kid. Now dont tell me that none of you have ever farted in your life. So yea, maybe you may be so GOOD as to keep that kind of stuff confined to the bathroom. But me, in my family home, you can forget that. I found it hilarious pumpin out my guts at the most inappropriate times.

I recall watching the Titanic with Mum..
"i'll never let go jack.. i'll never elt go..."
...... squueeeeeEEk..

So.. i'd let off one of those squeeky ones.. I seriously hoped that this one was gonna go unnoticed.. Perhaps the squeek could've been hidden in the midst of the tragedy.. or not.. a stench wafted across the room. Angry glare from my Mum.. Stiffled laughter... Sorry jack.. i had to let go.. couldn't hold it in... (snicker)..

Or there are times when I'm so totally peeved with my Mum.. Shes at the stove doing some stir-frying. I go grab a drink.. ask her whats for dinner.. Then let it rip. The silent one of course. So she'll never know what hit her. And at the same time, once the aroma hits her..she has nothing left to do but absorb it.. coz shes doing a stirfry.. and her hands are stuck to the wok.. muahahaha

Shit this is so totally gross.
i hope this hasnn't turned my fellow ppl away from me. Don't worry. if it took me a year to let loose (only in my sleep so far, by the way) with Mr Man.. then yooz got nuthin to worry about.

Don't hate, its natural
Be one with the wind ppl
=)

didicated to all kimMEH's within

So.... out of boredom... and mostly to avoid studying and to find more ways in which to waste my time... i've created this blog..

Just fer u kimmizzle... coz u know.. i know.. u got nothing better to do.... so ah.. yee hoo and giddy up ya'll, heres to such a BLOODY creative blog start. =S