cheeseburger, anyone??

i've been with Mr Man (code for bf) for a year now, and its come to that stage in the relationhip where pretty much.. theres not much left to hide... until recently. No one, not ANYONE out of my family has been let onto my biggest secret.......

i erm.. develop flatulence.. big time (at times).. and... i find it FKN funny, not just mine.. but in general. The more i do, the more shits n giggles i get. How i've managed to keep this habit away from him... is bloody unbelievable. Until recently.

Heres the story..
i wake up one morning to Mr Man. A morning kiss and hug later her says.. "Baby farted in her sleep last night" ...
Thanks for just shattering a good start to the morning..
Me: Haha... (snickers to myself)
(silence)
Me: So... did it smell??
Him: umm.. i didnt lift up the quilt
Me: oh
(silence)
Me: Was it loud?? (snickers once more)
Him: the first one wasnt
Me: FIRST ONE??
Him: yea.. then the one after kinda went... BARRP.. and vibrated in the mattress
Me: (rolls around the bed in a fit of giggles)

i continue to find out all the specific details. And for the following nights, continue to pester him as to whether flatulence has erupted from my backdoor whilst comatose.

I think this obsession of mine developed as a kid. Now dont tell me that none of you have ever farted in your life. So yea, maybe you may be so GOOD as to keep that kind of stuff confined to the bathroom. But me, in my family home, you can forget that. I found it hilarious pumpin out my guts at the most inappropriate times.

I recall watching the Titanic with Mum..
"i'll never let go jack.. i'll never elt go..."
...... squueeeeeEEk..

So.. i'd let off one of those squeeky ones.. I seriously hoped that this one was gonna go unnoticed.. Perhaps the squeek could've been hidden in the midst of the tragedy.. or not.. a stench wafted across the room. Angry glare from my Mum.. Stiffled laughter... Sorry jack.. i had to let go.. couldn't hold it in... (snicker)..

Or there are times when I'm so totally peeved with my Mum.. Shes at the stove doing some stir-frying. I go grab a drink.. ask her whats for dinner.. Then let it rip. The silent one of course. So she'll never know what hit her. And at the same time, once the aroma hits her..she has nothing left to do but absorb it.. coz shes doing a stirfry.. and her hands are stuck to the wok.. muahahaha

Shit this is so totally gross.
i hope this hasnn't turned my fellow ppl away from me. Don't worry. if it took me a year to let loose (only in my sleep so far, by the way) with Mr Man.. then yooz got nuthin to worry about.

Don't hate, its natural
Be one with the wind ppl
=)